Never Threaten to Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs

Do you occasionally wonder,

• What kind of person works at a porn video store?
• Do public defenders believe in their clients?
• What does a reporter feel when he visits war-torn Iraq?
• What happens after a child star falls into obscurity?

Thanks to Web logs, or "blogs" as they're affectionately nicknamed by Net-savvy voyeurs, anyone can jump into the shoes of a video salesclerk, a criminal court lawyer, an international journalist, or a TV star, among others.

While entertaining and educating, these virtual diaries represent a cross section of the people who dwell online. This book features the Internet's most provocative writing, by unknown writers and underground celebrities.

Neil Forrester, former cast member of MTV’s The Real World, gives new meaning to the phrase "Bite your tongue." Meanwhile, Star Trek:The Next Generation actor, Wil Wheaton, gives his take on the Hollywood system and fleeting stardom.

Elsewhere, web designer Heather Hamilton finds herself unemployed after postin on-the-job stories to her personal blog. And humorist Choire Sicha shares advice about broken hearts and timeshares. Plus: tales of creepy video-store customers, office pranks gone awry, a childhood encounter with Darth Vader, and so much more!

Table of Contents:

Foreword
About the Editors
About the Artist
Acknowledgments
Introduction
How to Use This Book
Bling Bling Strategies For The New Economy
Why George F. Will?
Lube Warning
Jon’s Wife
Spare Us The Cutter
Interview with Wil Wheaton of Wil Wheaton Dot Net
1999
Last Night At The Grocery Store
Darth Vader Made Me Cry
Alabama Hamilton
Interview with Heather Armstrong of Dooce
“DID HE DO IT?”
Romance
Celebrity
Interview with Choire Sicha of Choire Sicha Dot Com
Known In The Gates
Customers I Have Driven Out Of The Store
Interview with Ali Davis of True Porn Clerk Stories
Never Threaten to Eat Your Co-Workers
Interview with Uncle Bob
Brad Pitt: Your Remakes Are Ready
Kookoo for Coconuts
You’ve Got Ringworm
Interview with Mark Frauenfelder and Carla Sinclair of The Island Chronicles
Lost In Translation
A Smart Suit And A Kipper Tie, A Big Arrow Pointing To My Fly
Dear Cranky Old Bitch
After Spending Two Weeks At My Parents House
Interview with Mrs. Kennedy of Fussy
The Girl Who Cried Webmaster
When Is A Reporter Not A Reporter?
The Problem With Airplanes
The Art Of Getting Away With It
High Five
Twenty-One Provocations
Reflections—Artificial Sweetener
Volvulus
Democratic National Blog?
Long Before I Blogged
Logic
When The Waiter Came
I Saw U
Red Hot And Blue
Interview with Janet Feeney of Snarkcake
Disasters Of The Natural Variety
September 11, 2003
Business Cards
Jury Duty
Poll: 7/5 of Americans Don’t Bother To Do The Math
Chatty
Look On The Bright Side
Junior Crime Dog
How To Annoy Me
Broken Hearts
Clutching For Answers In Baghdad
Interview with Christopher Allbritton of Back To Iraq
Con Man
I Don’t Know About Your Blog
Fuctung
The Gameshow
Interview with Neil Forrester of NeilForrester
Hester Prynne
My Cred Is Intact
Interview with Matthew Baldwin of Defective Yeti
Celebrity Sightings From Antiquity
My Beautiful Life? Not Exactly
Drew’s Blog
It’s All In The Packaging
Interview with Matt Hinrichs of Scrubbles
Close
A Chair! A Chair! My Kingdom For A Chair!
Cat Magnet
Worthless Public Defenders
Interview with Greg Apt of Public Defender Dude
What Up, Boss
Neighbor
Hey! Parking Lot Blowjob Man!
Letter From New York City’s President
Things In The Past Week That Have Brought Me To Uncontrollable, Blubbering Tears
Notes Toward A Constitution For Communal Beach Houses
Appendix A
Editor’s FAQ
Appendix B
Index of Contributors